I was thirty last year and today I am adding another year to it. Gosh! It’s thirty plus one!
If I look back at my twenties, it was more about conforming to the standards my parents had laid or did expect us to adhere and achieve. I got married in mid-twenties and was conforming to another mould. So I was busy “conforming” or proving a point.
The beauty of thirty is that I no longer need to prove a point to anyone BUT me. From twenty to thirty, I met lots of good and not so good folks. Some stayed with me in my thick and thin and are now in my recent dialled list. Others have faded away or are acquaintances and only reside on my social network.
To summarise in a word, thirties are meaningful. No points to prove, healthy (and mature) relationships and better control over my life.
As every coin has two sides, there’s another facet to thirties. Here are the three things I decide to NOT CONCEDE.
1. Look your age.
The thirties make you sound old. Being a mother, people expect you to dress like one. I am neither old nor I dress like one. I dress as I always have. I’ve never made any conscious change just to look married and motherly. Ironically, I’ve been in best of the shape, of my life, post marriage and motherhood.
2. Negotiations and compromises.
The twenties are filled with fun. They’re carefree, adventurous and risky. All that settles down as you enter the thirties. You are wise, calm and focussed. For women, it is the time to make lots of choices (read hard choices). To continue work or not. To succumb to an average career to get more time to look after kids and house. Or to go after big pay cheques and bargain on the “mommy time”.
Thirty is definitely the new 20 as far as life experiences go.”
3. Grow your kids now.
A woman is supposed to have a career before marriage. Later she is supposed to de-prioritise it as she has kids and family to look after. People tend to imply that in the twenties do, act and learn whatever way you want. But once you are thirty (and obviously with kids and family by then) let you aspirations go for a long vacation. It should be all about your kids, there on.
I am no more worried about ‘what people say’ about my choices and decisions.
My only goal is to leave behind an interesting and inspiring trail for my daughter. For her to look back in the moments of self-doubt. To help her decide whether it’s time to give up or hit back. And be it thirty-one or fifty-one, I’ll never stop doing that.
So cheers to my thirty-one! 🙂