I am not a toy, I am a girl.

By | July 21, 2014

alone-concerned-cry-crying-girl-Favim.com-404314Another rape, another girl, another beast, another new story making headlines.

But this time the another girl is not even a girl. She is a tiny 6 year old! The times when Rape is the biggest challenge to Indian society, how would you explain the psychology of raping a 6 year old?

I am a mother to a tiny tot who would soon embark into her journey outside home. How can I be content that she would be safe? That girl got assaulted in her own school. Leave alone the roads, parks etc.

There is one question that I am unable to answer.

What sexual pleasure does a man get by forcing himself on a six year old?

This is not lust. This is mental illness. I’m sorry to even call him a man. A beast is better suited!

I don’t even want to get into the discussion of our lame laws! Juvenile or non juvénile. There is just one statement. A man who rapes is a monster. He does not deserve to be part of this society. Catch him, kill him or keep him in restriction life long. But please don’t let him walk free to poison our lives further.

Like every other case, there would be lot of discussions, protests, arrests and maybe delayed justice. But the bigger question is how can we stop our young boys from becoming beasts? The culprit has a wife and a 4 year old daughter.

Where are we going so wrong as a society?

A girl deserves as much freedom as the Indian society imparts to a boy. It is important for parents to not make sex a taboo in family. Today a child sings and dances to the tunes like “char botal vodka, kam mera roz ka“. And lets face it, the information is everywhere. You cant hide it or stop it from reaching your kid.

Talk it out and trust your child. Sex education should start from home and not school. Stop telling your kid that god sent you, when its time for them to understand. Don’t switch off the channel or have stoic faces if the movie shows a kissing scene. Cause if you don’t let them watch, they’ll watch it anyway.

Don’t make them naive, but wise. Impart the capability of judging the right and wrong. The onus of building a better society also lies on us – “the parents”. Let’s do our bit.

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10 thoughts on “I am not a toy, I am a girl.

  1. Ravish Mani

    What do you think; what measures should be taken to prevent young boys from becoming beast? I’m gonna write on this. I’m researching on the topic. I may quote your suggestion with a link to your blog. What kind of things should be kept in mind while imparting sex education to young kids?

    Reply
    1. nancy Post author

      Hi Ravish,
      First of all its important for the young boys to respect their female counter parts. And it starts from home. If your dad respects your mother, children can easily imbibe this quality. Do not do gender discrimination with your siblings. Treat them at par and equal.
      As for the sex education, I think it is necessary that we don’t over do it. I remember, in our school times this part was done by taking girls into a separate room. From that moment on a line was drawn.
      The more hush hush you make it,the more inquisitiveness it arouses. And today a child has the vast internet to quench his/her thirst to know more about sex.
      As parents, lets be “normal” while discussing this at home. We should make the child be free to ask or put forth his/her questions, opinions. As parents, don’t try to ward off uncomfortable situations. Sit and talk openly. Cause once your child starts enjoying the juicy conversations with his peers, it’ll be tough for you to hold him back. A child should feel that yeah I can ask this to my parents.
      As parents, build in trust and openness with your child.

      Reply
  2. TravellingNoodles

    The most important goof up we do is we let our kids learn about sex from porn, misinformed friends and other scrupulous sources instead of sitting down and talking to them. I am told talking to them gives them ideas but not talking is making it worse, isn’t it. I can count on my fingers friends who got their sexed from their parents the rest belonged to the afore mentioned group.

    Reply
  3. anawnimiss

    Your post really resonated with me. I understand your fears as a mother. I have a four year old step daughter and she was molested in school by a six year old kid. So I feel your fear.

    And to answer Ravish’s question about making our sons respect women? By being an example. Treating their mothers with respect. Treating other women with respect. Treating women in general like equals. That’s the first step!

    Reply
    1. nancy Post author

      True Awanimiss. And while I was reading about this bangalore episode, I was wondering if Delhi is waiting for “an episode” like this to wake up! And today I see news of a nursery girl sexually abused by her cabbie. And it feels like this loathing, huge monster is gradually creeping into our lives. One after another. Its time we start “doing” now.

      Reply
      1. anawnimiss

        The monster was always there. We just didn’t want to acknowledge its presence.
        I think most people my age have been abused as children. My parents refuse to talk about it even today. But if and when (go forbid) my step daughter brings something up, I will be sure to tackle the monster the way it deserves to be tackled. No more thumb-twiddling and brushing the dust under the carpet.

        Reply
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