How you can make suffering less painful!

This day, 5 years back was my moment of failure. I failed as a mother. I was nervous, insecure and unsure of what the future holds.

I was living a bad dream.

A slight pain in my 7th month came out to be a real labor pain. The baby was coming. My first pregnancy was hunkie dorie. I was all ready for the second run. I was confident. I knew the drill. I was better prepared as a second time mom.

BUT my baby chose to come out sooner than expected. Things were going wrong, very wrong!

By god’s grace, my baby made into this world. I still remember that frail cry.

We started our NICU journey.

In my initial days, I was lost, afraid, dilapidated with the birth trauma. I was on the duty to look after her well being. There was no time to waste. Though, inside, I was looking for a “time period” beyond which things would be “alright”. I was suffering, inside as well.

As I met fellow moms in NICU , I realised how we can choose to not “suffer” through our sufferings. We used to chat and laugh in NICU!

Full Term Parents walking into NICU, used to stare at our tiny babies and then at us. We used to gleam back with a smile on our faces. Our premies were our pride. Of having made it this far and how!

They may not be in best of their shapes at the moment but Man! what they’ve endured will make them win any battle in life!

Failures, hard times will come and go. How you choose to deal with them will make you who you want to be!

#nancySpeaks

I could almost never write afterwards since the emotional surge used to choke my words. It took me sometime to heal.

Today we’re celebrating my daughter’s 5th birthday. God has been immensely kind. And now when I look back fondly at the hard times what do I learn? What will I do differently the next time?

Here are my top 5 ideas on how to deal with a tough situation in your life –

• Don’t add to the Suffering – Life is a suffering. Life is hard. But would you chose to add to your misery and make this difficult time miserable for yourself? Or you take it in your stride, accept and bring a smile on you face and still struggle? The hardship shall continue but with a little smile, gratitude and trust in this universe would make it less harder for you and everyone around you.
• Face your demons – Fear, Anxiety over unknowns, negative thoughts are our inner demons that haunt us every time. Reminding myself to face my demons helped me gather the courage and step in NICU every morning. Face your fears in the eye and show them who’s stronger.
• Everything is Figure-outable – Trust this universe that everything has a solution. Trust that nothing is so complicated that you can’t figure it out. And if you can figure it out, why worry? Everything is part of the bigger picture. What you may not understand now will eventually be clear, when the storm has passed, and you are sitting with your feet up. You’ll just know! Watch this amazing video by Marie Forleo [4:14 onwards] .
• Look at the bigger canvas of your life – This is something that I practice, personally, every time there is a problem. How much I’ll worry about it depends on the extent of it’s significance on my life. Our mind has the tendency to over think and make issues big. If you are aware, you’ll respond better.
• Time is not constant – Lastly, don’t get swayed away looking at happy faces. They maybe just smiling through hard times. Time never stays the same. As the sunrises and sets everyday, happiness and sadness are very much part of our lives. When chips are down, hold on tight. Let the storm pass. And as peace prevails, show gratitude and remember your hard days. Keep a “balance” and harmony with this universe and things shall be easy.

Lastly, remember this –

What did you learn from your hardships? How did you deal with them? Let me know your story too! Leave a comment below!