There are so many aspects to raising a child that it practically requires many people around to fulfill it. Nutrition, health and safety, connecting with wildlife and nature, religious beliefs, physical growth and the list can be unending.
What is important to realize here is that no one person “fits the bill”.
Few days back I read a post on a motherhood group from someone. It went like this –
I’m staying in Gurgaon all by myself with 2 kids (2yrs and 7yrs) as my husband is posted abroad on projects. These are short term projects so we decided not to keep moving with him as my elder one is schooling…our families are in Kolkata and they are not very keen on helping by coming down to stay with us. I have literally raised my younger daughter all by myself and she hardly recognizes her father. Sometimes I really loose it and feel like running away from everything but just for a break. Since I don’t belong to Delhi/NCR I have a lack of friends or relatives here who can support or help me. What should I do?
This post got me thinking.
Where is our village today?
If your families are helping you, count your blessings!
As children, we decide to pursue our dreams and our families support us by shifting their epicenter from us to them. This isn’t very easy.
To overcome loneliness, they develop their own social circle, career or hobbies. Only when we get promoted to parenthood, we realize the need to have them around. Irony is, by then, the logistics of lives may not let it be a continuous support.
Sometimes, our parents are happily ensconced in their lives that they do not wish to take the extra burden of raising grand children. Or many times, are fragile to contribute.
There can number of reasons for not having them around. But what do we do then?
If you are not the chosen one to have inherited a “village” for your kid, build one!
Working Mom or a home maker, everyone deserves few moments of peace. So how do we build one?
1. Look for support outside families – Hire Nannies.
2. Find your mommy group within your neighborhood or online.
For moms in Gurgaon, this is a super powerful group.
Join in and see how much you can get from other fellow moms out here!
3. Delegate repetitive, daily chores to house help.
4. Birthday Parties with fellow mommies at School.
This one is my favorite. From being an introvert to this socially active mommy hopping at different birthday parties.
I have changed myself! :)
I like how it helps me disconnect from my world and get into the myriad lives of home makers, working moms with older kids, Young Moms. Their different professions, stories, stories blah blah.. I love the way it gives me a perspective of viewing my own world.
5. If you’re working, plan some timeout with fellow moms at work.
Friday luncheon won't hurt, right? :)
Trust me, it’s cathartic to hear everyone’s story. I read this brilliant write up talking about the “heavy baggage” that we all feel buried under. Meeting more people, knowing their struggles leave you with broader perspective and pain, less painful!
So go ahead and start building your own village! Do write in comments how you’ve worked towards one.